BigBanana's Guide to Parkour Jumps

BigBananas

Peon
Whitey
Apr 2, 2022
6
11
Hello all, I've been collecting notes for three years now, and I'm finally ready to start uploading my findings. I will be updating this thread as I go explaining each jump.

I utilize Bahnarli’s guide throughout this guide. It can be found here:
https://forums.minr.org/threads/bahnarlis-guide-to-parkour-on-minr.6236/

The Jumps:

1. Double-Triple 4x4-2 Octahedron Neo:
This is one of the hardest jumps on the server, which is why I am beginning with it. It may be scary at first, but following this guide, I’ll get you through it. First, you want to stand on the smallest of the 4 sea pickles, before turning exactly 48 degrees towards where the jump will take you. Go about 2 crouched fleas to the front, before turning 361 degrees 8 times (one for every side) before completing the jump. For the actual jump, you want to jump twice, before quickly second-guessing your decision of which side, and then sprint-tap-jumping with a double jam to the ladder.

2. WF 2-2x0,5:
The WF (World Food) 2-2x0,5 is truly a classic, only having ever been performed by the legendary BigBananas (update: as of 4/2/22, viceinc has completed the jump) himself. Though this jump is rarely ever used, it can be found in valley maps that have been valleyed for being too hard. To begin this jump, you must count 1/15689th of a standard American school bus and move in the direction opposite of the nearest blue, red or green block, (prioritize in that order,) next, you want to make sure you’ve read up on the most common types of food eaten in southern Europe since the reciprocal of 0,5 will need to be calibrated by someone well informed about the country where the jump-maker is from. Once you’re confident in the ability to distinguish a kebab from a pizza, it’s time to make the jump. Begin by canning your select choice of meat, continue by accessing the physical map of the current section of the server on the matrix, and grab those numbers, they should be formatted as xxxxx,xxx45xx0,5. Taking these coordinates, locate the nearest turtle egg and turn opposite of it. You want to jump ¼ of a flea and then turn 180 degrees and jump to the objective, strafing utilizing the “A” and “D” keys as needed.

3. Pastrami On Rye Inverse Multi-Level Triagonal:
As the name of this jump suggests, this is a jump that will turn you salty before curing you and getting you through. It is recommended that your current housing space has many spices to assist in this jump. You’ll begin by locating the 2nd nearest delicatessen and ordering a Pastrami on Rye. Ask to be called as soon as the delivery driver is on his way. ASK FOR JAMES, he takes the perfect amount of time for this jump. As soon as you receive the call, you want to align yourself towards the deli, finding a map and then attempting to guess where the driver may be at this exact moment. After 30 seconds have passed, remain facing the direction where the delivery driver is, before performing a double-pessi hh Multi-Level Triagonal. Congratulations, you beat the jump.

4. The Bogus:
Please note that in order to complete this jump, you must first have tried it an indefinite amount of time. When you are about to give up, you’ll succeed. Repeat this as necessary.

5. The "Viceinc, can you tp and show me how to do this" jump
For this jump, Viceinc must be online, similar to The Bogus, you must have tried it and failed an indefinite amount of times, except when you give up and don't succeed, you'll say something along the lines of "Viceinc, can you tp," or "Vice, can you tp and show me this jump." Then you must type "/bring Viceinc." A friendly bear will show up, and then you can simply follow him as he does the jump. This can be repeated no more than twice an hour.

6. The Rage
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*BigBananas has been muted for 10 minutes*

7. The Pessi Max fmm c4.5 ultra hh jump jam rex 3.1415bc cyn kielba v69 45 strafe 1 block
Truly a cultured jump. This jump was recommended by kor0sense1. There are multiple parts to this jump so I'll break it down individually and then tie it all into the final jump. First: the pessi. The pessi is an old-school tactic used to get an italian to like you, you'll utilize this at the beginning of the layup to the setup of the jump. The Max fmm is a term coined by my friend Maxwell, he took the fmm (fondling more marbles) and adapted it to a European version. Instead of doing the fmm on the right, you do it on the left, as well as switch the minecraft language to any of the pre-selected European national languages. The c4.5 is an adaptation of the coding language "C#" or "C-Sharp" make sure that it is installed on your computer and set to version 4.5. The Ultra hh jump is one of the most useful base jumps in the game. It's an hh performed with the blessing of the admins. To gain the blessing of the admins, you must complete the following, in any order: make three (3) blue-ranked players quit, compliment any map made by an admin, dance the macarena twice non-stop, donate to a local charity whose name starts with the letter H. Upon rejoining the server, you'll have a potion effect that is called "Admins Blessing" and it'll allow you to perform the ultra hh jump. The jam rex is a classic that relies on echolocation through the ground to locate any remaining fossils. You must then dig said fossils and turn them into fossil fuels. If you cause an oil spill you are disqualified. When you have dug up the fossils, at least 500 metric lbs, make some ginseng tea bought from the Japanese store on the corner of 41st and Lexington in NYC. Make or buy a generator from any hardware store nearby, and use the fossil fuel to power it, then plug your computer directly into the generator. Your computer needs this kind of power to make the jump, as the fossil fuels and ginseng tea combines to give a lag spike that will take you an extra 3.1415 blocks in the jump. The cyn kielba v69 is a strategy used by anybody living in the americas, europe, or asia. It's used to evade a lag spike that is so small and so frequent that it stunts the length of the jump 99.78% of the time, and it reduces the chances of the lag spike by 89%. Simply go onto your roof, and locate the antennae. Adjust the antennae by rotating it 69 degrees clockwise, then opening the panel, and carefully reconnecting the green wire into the empty socket labeled "cyn". The 45 strafe is the result of combining the c4.5, ultra hh, as well as the cyn kielba v69. These combined will result in a strafe that will take you ~45 blocks to the nearest British Columbia resident (bc) and move you one block inverse to the Double-Triple 4x4-2 Octahedron Neo. That's the jump.

8. The -2t (or any negative jump)
*You need a time machine for this* you can acquire a time machine from BigBanana's Time Machine for - (negative) jumps. You must get an IV tube and infuse the time machine engine fluid into your veins. Once that is done, prepare for the jump by fasting for 6 hours before you do the jump. Simply focus during the pre-jump and let the time machine juices flow through your body, and you'll warp through and land at your desired location as if you never jumped.


Parkour Tips (A Collaboration)

  • Fuck jams, just jump carefully - added by BigBananas
  • jump - added by TunaSurprise
  • im uh not exactly the parkour expert lol - added by dariiii
  • always use hh jump jam is for wussies - added by Viceinc
  • you can complete any minr map for about 1 million USD dollars - added by Vermilion_Stone
  • lol 'USD dollars' - added by Vermilion_Stone
  • wyn - added by Solawr
  • dont fall - added by Bananbulle

Specialized Jumps, written by special authors. (WIP)






Map Reviews (On the BigBanana's Map Review Scale) (WIP)




To Be Continued
 
Last edited:

Solawr

Peon
Greenie
May 10, 2021
29
29
thank you, minr needs more people like you who are so passionate about their writing.
#BigBananasBorever
 
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