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- Nov 3, 2013
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I had always thought that bad people were born and not made. In reality, I have learned that it is a miasma that creeps into you slowly through holes of insecurity and misfortune. You learn to justify your actions and cope with your character most days. Days like today.
It is raining. Cold. Windy. But most of all, it is lonely. Robbing a grave with a bunch of armed crooks should make my surroundings less frightening, but for some reason it only serves to distance me further from a tether to humanity, to sanity.
"Here. This's tha one," drawls the man wearing the brown flat clap. He made himself the un-elected leader of our motley crew a week ago. The speech impediment does his force of will no credit.
"I don't know 'bout the rest of you fellas, but I could really do with getting out of the rain," pipes a rather timid-looking kid. I briefly wonder why he is here. Everyone has a story that put them here.
A few others murmur their assent as flat cap pries open the wooden door to the sizable crypt with his crowbar. My rambling thoughts are quietly replaced with a sense of purpose as we leave the muddy hill of body placards and enter into the hallowed stone tomb. Formerly hallowed, anyways.
The stone must be a few feet thick, and the spacious room we enter into seems to represent its own microcosm, quieting the tumult of the elements outside. As my eyes adjust to the now brightly-lit room, flat cap steps towards the plain sarcophagus in the center of the domicile. The others form a circle around him almost as misshapen as our own values. The light from their torches bounces off the ionic columns and coffered ceiling, splaying shadowy demons into the ambulatory.
Flat cap wastes no time talking, shoving the lid off the coffin. Nobody is eager to break the anticipatory silence, myself included. He smirks, pulling out chest after chest of loot. He was right. The rest of the group smiles. Too bad.
Before he can begin to turn, the sound of smashing glass beneath his feet cuts the thread of his mortality. Shocked, the others stare at me in horror.
"Oh come, don't look at me like that. One less man means a greater share of the bounty for the rest of us," I explain calmly.
"It does, doesn't it?" asks the boy from before as he draws a potion. So much for timid. The others quickly follow suit, equipping potions of their own. "It looks like we have a bit of an impasse, don't we?"
"Something like that," I say, quickly tossing a potion while diving for the safety of an ionic pillar. Behind me I hear the sound of shattering bottles and yelps of pain. In a few moments, there's silence. The kid is gone, along with a few others. Looks like the rest of us had the same idea. A few eyes peek at me from their own stony shields.
"OH WHAT FUN," comes a booming voice from the sarcophagi, "A STANDOFF? I HAVEN'T PLAYED A GAME THIS GOOD IN YEARS. UNFORTUNATELY, NONE OF YOU CAN GET MY VALUABLES OR LEAVE UNTIL THE OTHERS ARE DEAD OR HAVE NO POTIONS LEFT."
Well that explains a lot. TheForgottenUser's tomb. And somehow he's back? At least he has good humor about the other forum members breaking into his crypt. He always did like games. Looks like I'll have to settle the matter to get to the cash.
"WELL GOOD, LET'S LAY DOWN SOME GROUND RULES." You'd think that a year of death would tone him down a little. Why rules anyways? We're all criminals. But nobody else speaks, so I decide to listen along with the rest.
"FIRST, USE COMMON SENSE AND HAVE FUN." Easy for him to say. He's already died before.
"SECOND, YOU MUST BE ACTIVE. DON'T JUST AFK BEHIND YOUR PILLAR. IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE OR SOMETHING, TRY TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE OVER FOR YOU." As if I'd give up the chance for riches.
"THIRD, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK, BUT WHAT IS A GAME WITH NO STRATEGY? YOU CAN TALK TO THE OTHER PLAYERS AS YOU WISH, FORM ALLIANCES, AND THE LIKE. A LITTLE TRASH TALK DOESN'T HURT SO LONG AS IT IS IN THE SPIRIT OF THE GAME." I'll make a point to trash talk him later.
"FOURTH, THE TEN RULES OF MAFIA APPLY." What is he talking about now?
"NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY, LET ME EXPLAIN THE GAME," booms the sarcophagi.
"THE WINNER IS WHOEVER HAS THE MOST OF MY LOOT AT THE END OF THE NIGHT. BY THE LOOKS OF IT, YOU EACH HAVE EIGHT POTIONS, SO THERE WILL BE EIGHT ROUNDS. IF YOU ARE KILLED, YOU LOSE. IF EVERYONE DIES, YOU ALL LOSE, RATHER OBVIOUSLY. IF EVERYONE ELSE DIES, YOU WIN BY DEFAULT. IF THERE IS A TIE, THE HEALTHIER, MORE AGGRESSIVE PLAYER WILL LIKELY BE ABLE TO FIGHT THE OTHER OFF ONCE THE POTIONS ARE GONE (in the case of a tie, the player with more health and who has hid less, in that order, will win)."
"EACH ROUND, I WILL PLACE SOME OF MY LOOT ON THE SARCOPHAGI AT RANDOM. YOU MAY THEN EQUIP AN EMPTY BOTTLE, A POTION OF HARMING, OR A POTION OF POISON. AN EMPTY BOTTLE WILL DO NOTHING, A POTION OF HARMING WILL INFLICT 1 HEART OF DAMAGE (you start with three), AND A POTION OF POISON WILL INFLICT 1 HEART OF DAMAGE AND CAUSE THEM TO DROP THEIR OWN POTION (you neutralize their attack. If multiple are in play, they will all be thrown simultaneously). EACH PLAYER WILL AIM A THROW AT ANOTHER PLAYER EACH ROUND. ONCE POSITIONS ARE REVEALED, EACH PLAYER CAN CHOOSE TO HIDE BEHIND THEIR PILLAR OR COMMIT TO THEIR THROW AND TRY TO GET LOOT (if they hide, they will not be hit, but will still lose their potion, dropping it in their haste to cower. If you stay out, you can attack and be attacked, and as long as you don't die, will share the loot for the round).
"PLAY PHASES WILL GO AS FOLLOWS:" it continues.
"FIRST, I WILL PLACE TEN PIECES OF LOOT IN THE SARCOPHAGI EACH ROUND. THERE ARE 10 DIAMOND BLOCKS, 20 GOLD BLOCKS, AND 50 REDSTONE BLOCKS, WORTH 20 UNITS, 10 UNITS, AND 5 UNITS RESPECTIVELY. THE PROFITS WILL BE DISTRIBUTED EQUALLY AT THE END OF EACH ROUND TO THE REMAINING PLAYERS WHO WEREN'T COWERING. IF SOMEONE DIES, THEIR LOOT SIMPLY DISAPPEARS FROM THE GAME."
"SECOND, EACH PLAYER WILL HAVE 24 HOURS TO PM ME ON THE FORUMS BOTH THE KIND OF POTION THEY'RE EQUIPPING, AND ALSO WHO THEY ARE TAKING AIM AT. EVERY PLAYER STARTS WITH 1 POISON POTION, 2 HARMING POTIONS, AND 5 EMPTY BOTTLES. IF YOU DO NOT PM ME, YOU WILL GLITCH AND LOSE 1 FLASK AT RANDOM AND AIM AT RANDOM."
"THIRD, EVERYONE WILL SEE WHO IS AIMING AT WHO. YOU THEN HAVE 24 HOURS TO EITHER PUBLICLY STATE OR PM ME THEIR DECISION TO HIDE BEHIND THEIR PILLAR OR GO THROUGH WITH THEIR DECISION. ALL DECISIONS ARE FINAL. IF YOU SAY NOTHING, YOUR PLAN WILL BE CARRIED OUT AS IT STANDS.'
"FOURTH, I WILL GRANDIOSELY TELL THE TALE OF THE ROUND'S ACTIONS - WHO DIED, WHO LIVED, WHO HID LIKE A MOLE, WHO LOST THEIR NOSE, AND WHO GOT A BIT RICHER. LOOT WILL BE DISTRIBUTED AND IF YOU ARE HIT THRICE WITH A REAL POTION, YOU DIE. RINSE AND REPEAT TO THE END."
"ANY QUESTIONS?" Well shoot. He sure talks a lot.
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